Have you  heard about the adoptive parents who are in trouble with the Russian government for making their son drink hot sauce when he spoke a bad word? Perhaps hot sauce is too harsh, but in when I was young, it was soap. I can still remember the foamy mouth that seemed to leave a deposited film that I could taste most of the day. That bitter taste of the consequences of my sin helped me to watch the words that I heard at school from exiting my mouth. The reason it was so important that I remember is that I have often read that my words are expressions of my heart. When my heart is clean, so is my language, but when my heart is dirty, my language follows.

A friend wrote, “Occasionally words are spoken so plentifully that they far outstrip clear thinking.” At our home, it was called “diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain”. When we allow this to happen, we most often will say things we later regret. It is easy to speak beyond clear understanding – to go beyond absolute certainty into speculation, exaggeration, and self-commendation. Often our words will allow us to offer opinions about others that fracture relationships. Often we will engage in a word joust and then are forced to retreat to our castles alone – having lost another friend.

Most of us do not realize how powerful our words are. The Bible says that the power of life and death are formed in our mouths with the help of our tongues! Unchecked, this power of “death” can accelerate and quench the life of those around us.

How often have we disclosed something that should not have been spoken, and then end it with a disclaimer! “Just reporting the truth!” “Just between us!” It is as if we believe that our reporting of someone’s  faults or sins gives us the right to say what we know will defame and wound another. Never! Whispers can be just as slanderous as broadcasting the message over a megaphone.
Allow me to provide some guidelines to watching our speech:

First, we must avoid talk that destroys. Lying, smooth talking, gossiping, recklessly speaking, harsh words, too much talking, quarrelsome words, and hasty words all make up a dangerous use of our tongues. This type of tongue is without the proper check on it.

Second, when we speak negative things, we get destructive results. Sin, destruction, betrayal, piercing of hearts, ending of friendships, calamity, and even death can be the result of the careless speaker, who could rightly be dubbed “a fool”.

Third, when the tongue is under check, it will produce speech that builds up! It will produce words that are true, just, fitting, and wise. It will know when to keep secrets. It will speak words that are weighed adequately before being spoken. It will bring words that protect, that cover up wrong so we do not expose the failure of others to those who do not need to know. It will produce words that will drop a matter. It will produce gentle spirits that avoid unnecessary strife.

There is an interesting verse of Scripture in Proverbs 22:15 which says, “A gentle tongue can break a bone.” In cultural context, this is talking about persistence in godly speech and a gentle answer. In time, like water dripping on a rock, such words can penetrate even the hardest, resistant, argumentative person and result in a gentle and civil outcome.

Keep this in focus: The words we speak are an index of the condition of our souls! When our heart is right, everything that overflows from our lips will be right. Think and pray about what you might speak. Learn to put the brakes on in any situation immediately when the red light of our heart tells us that danger is ahead.

Learn the wisdom of not talking. Learn to keep confidences, protect relationships, walk in the freeing humility and clear spirit of a tongue in check.

The Apostle Paul wrote that our talking must always be filled with grace and timely, balanced, life-giving, preserving, nourishing, desirable, and relationship building. May my words be so chosen! May our words be so chosen! Our community will be a better place with words that bless!