Valentines 2013

Last year, I wrote a column for Valentine’s Day that spoke more about the history of the holiday, as well as the importance of love.

However, the 364 days between one Valentine’s and another changed my mind set about the holiday, but not in the way you might expect when you grasp my situation.

Last Summer I lost my girlfriend of five years and close friend for ten plus years, plus two kids I took in as my own.

Instead of starting to hate the upcoming holiday in a fit of jealousy and childish thinking, I started to think that perhaps after this year which has been very rough at times, I needed to start to think romantically about the one person I had neglected the most.

Myself.

Now, when I say myself, I don’t plan on buying myself a card or a box of candy (OK, maybe I’m lying about the candy, but only the day after, when all the candy is half off), but what I do plan on doing is making sure that I have love in my heart for myself before I worry about finding love in someone else.

This is probably something that a lot of us neglect and admittedly it is not easy to focus on loving who you are when there are so many things in the modern world screaming for your attention. There are the films and TV shows, showing perfect relationships that you must be in to be happy, the beauty products and ego boosters, the toys and the children who play with them.

When we went into the history of the holiday last year we learned about one of the Saint Valentines who went against the Romans to marry Christian soldiers and generally carried out his work right under his enemy’s nose.

So beyond the day being a celebration of all that is good about love, loyalty and friendship, it is also about strength in the face of adversity. It is about doing what is right, what is right in the heart, despite the sense of logic or the rules of the world around you.

That strength is the same strength that lets you love yourself for yourself, to accept your own faults, flaws and scars and move forward into the future.

Find a way to love yourself and let the people you love see the best in you by loving yourself first and always.

Again, not easy, but few things worth doing ever are.

Much like Christmas, I would also like to extend a Happy Valentine’s Day to anyone who might be feeling lonely and left out.