“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” I do not know who came up with this saying, but I like it. when kids are under foot every day, perfection as a mom is not realistic. There are too many ways imperfections can show up.
I still remember when I was five or six my parents left me at church one Sunday morning. Of course, we had a small car and there were always seven of us packed in, so missing one kid would have been easy. Of course, it was Mom’s fault – at least in her mind and she apologized many times over the years. I hope I have forgiven, but I guess I have not forgotten!
Good mothers laugh…a lot!
Mom always wanted the day to begin right. Yes, after I got into grade school, I had morning chores to do. When in Jr. High, I remember that there were cows to milk, chickens to feed, and water to fetch before school. Of course, there was the normal “make up your bed as soon as you hit the floor,” but mom did not want us to ride the school bus in anything less than a jovial mood. Now Mom was not the joking kind, but she could always find reasons to make us smile. I remember someone asking Mom, “Who invented stairs?” and our answers cracked us all up!
Being able to laugh – with your kids and at yourself – will turn around many tense moments in the home. There was the new red crayon that got lost in the foot of the bed and showed up in the dryer with a new, white sheet. The sheet looked like someone had been murdered on it. Mom had a choice: cry, blow up in anger (which was not her style), or laugh. My sister was thrilled that she chose to laugh. Sheets get old and ragged and are tossed out as rags when Dad worked on the car. But the memory of a laughing mother will linger in the hearts of children. That’s good, mothers!
Good mothers pray!
Sadly, there are plenty of times when motherhood is no laughing matter. Our baby sister went through a time when she would just “keel over.” She would be singing in our youth choir and just drop to the floor. Anxiety filled our mother’s heart as the doctor sought the answer, but mom, knowing the power of prayer, began bombarding Heaven for Elaine.
I can not begin adding up the hours I have heard my mother pray for us kids. I remember hearing my name called out and truly did not like to hear that because I was doing wrong! When we kids were sick, Mom prayed. When we boys went off to war, Mom prayed. When we got new girlfriends or boyfriends, Mom prayed. When we were late getting home at night, Mom prayed.
Mom knew that she could not fix all the brokenness of a fallen world, but she knew that she could pray and talk to God who can easily fix brokenness. That’s good, mothers!
Good mothers capture moments!
I am constantly telling young parents to “put a rock on those kids heads to keep them from growing up so rapidly!” I am sure mom believed she would be changing and washing diapers forever. She had six kids in nine years, all before the plastic diaper age, so diapers were her constant companion.
But, kids do grow up and there is that desire to “freeze-frame” certain moments in our kids’ lives, just suspend time and make things stay the way they were for a while. This is what I call capturing the moment.
When we were playing dominoes and Dad got beaten, we would laugh hysterically together – this is a moment. When we were eating homemade ice cream on a hot summer night and watching for falling stars … this is a moment. The first night we got a television and watched Shirley Temple’s “Heidi” and all cried… this is a moment. When we celebrated a birthday with cake and told stories about each other … this is a moment. When one of my sisters made corn bread and it was so awful the chickens would not even eat it … this is a moment.
There is no “pause” button when it comes to being a mom. But good mothers learn to savor the everyday moments with the children instead of wishing away the fleeting years of childhood. It is vitally important in the home, even through the “daily-ness” of family life that can leave us without a sense of urgency and trick us into thinking we have all the time in the world. We do not! We need to watch for those sweet moments of joy in everyday living where we can say, “This is a moment.” That’s good, mothers!
Good mothers look to God for their “goodness.”
Since we have already established that the perfect mother has not yet been created, we need to realize that not only can our sins be forgiven, but also we can parent by God’s grace and mercy. When moms fail, God provides a merciful heart for forgiveness and a new start. In the “lacking areas” of patience, wisdom, and strength, moms can rely on God’s grace to develop wheat is needed day by day. In the attempt to be a good mother, there is that confidence to know that there is opportunity to grow as we stay attached to Him. That is really, truly good — and that is God!
