Do you ever feel like the community around us is full of negative? Maybe you hear it daily… prices are up, real estate is down, food is full of bad stuff, my political candidate did not win, …whatever. I hear people say it is hard to be happy in today’s world. They may be right. It does not make me happy to see the bad things all around me. If you are looking outside of yourself to find happiness and feel good, you will likely find less happiness than you had hoped. But, if you want joy, contentment, soul deep satisfaction, you can have it. No, really, you can. Because you see, joy is a choice and it can grow.
Happiness is fleeting and external. I may be happy about the great cup of coffee I got this morning or the lower bill I got in the mail. But if circumstances change, so does my happiness. Joy is internal, self-regulating, limitless and unchanged by circumstances. Joy is there during sadness, anger, disappointment and even negativity. Sadness is a reasonable response to things that happen around us. Anger is human and finite in nature. The circumstances of conditions and incidents are beyond our control and can cause all kinds of feelings both positive and negative. But that all comes from outside of us.
Joy on the other hand is personal, permanent and portable. Joy comes from within. It is our personal choice how we live our life. We can decide to be kind, honest and tolerant. We can look for the good in things, in people, in our jobs and communities and share it when we see it. All are a choice and are free. It is easy to chime in on the negative. If you chose to start conversing about the positive, sharing the beauty of little things, bringing attention to the wonder of our world you just may change the way those around you think and react. When we are true to ourselves, our core values and truths, and live according to that we find joy within. When we choose surroundings that are safe, uplifting and fit us, we find joy. When we surround ourselves with people, music and entertainment, activities and involvements that are matched to our wishes, goals and dreams and avoid those that are mismatched, we find joy. Our surroundings, associations, thoughts, decisions and actions either harmonize with that soul deep self and make us better or conflict with us and make us bitter. We can choose joy in the little everyday choices we make.
It takes courage to define the true you, courage to change what you are doing, and courage to take out of your daily life any persons, places or things that bring negative to you routinely. Not the ‘man, I had a fight with my sister,’ or ‘ugh, my husband and kids have all been sick,’ kind of negative. Those things we can’t control. But that Nelly Negative friend who has nothing good to say about anyone or anything every time you get together for a cup of coffee… that is a choice. That organization that invited you to join but they perpetuate ugly stereotypes and exclusion…that is a choice. That chaotic social gathering place that makes you anxious and nervous…that is a choice.
We attract things and people that are like us. So be positive and affirmative and you will attract those friends. Think on the beautiful and good and you will attract those kinds of experiences. Watch uplifting and encouraging entertainment and you will invite those kinds of mindsets.
Now that does not mean you won’t have ‘terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days’. We all have them. You will be raging angry several times this year. Friends and family will hurt you and someone you love will disappoint you. It is okay. That inside joy that comes from authentic integrity to the true you will let you find balance again quickly. That joy from within will bubble to the surface and wash out the negative from the inside out. When we make a New Year’s decision to grow joy inside ourselves we must fertilize it with the right things, let in the right light and pull out the weeds for it to grow. But like all good gardeners know, you can’t plant onions and expect a crop of daisies. So, plant a crop of joy in this New Year.
