On Mothers’ Day, Pastor Joane preached this message and wishes to share it with you in this format. The text was Deuteronomy 20:4 “Don’t waiver in resolve. Don’t fear. Don’t hesitate. Don’t panic. God, your God, is right there with you, fighting with you against your enemies (for your family), fighting to win.”
As Mom, it is so easy to second guess our parenting style. We often feel like failures. We can only succeed if we resolve to keep trying …. Muddling through our mistakes. Naturally reading the best instruction Book in the world (the Bible) does not hurt either. C.S. Lewis, the great Christian apologist, said, “Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.” Resolve to love your children unconditionally. I believe I have some ideas!
Listen with interrupting: Proverbs 18:1 – 2 “Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense. Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.” Kids want to express themselves and talk it out, but as parents we want to solve the problem … as loving parents, we must realize we are raising adults not just a child … allow the child to develop cognitive reasoning … not just obeying what we say, but understanding foundationally why they made a choice.
Speak without accusing: James 1:19 “… You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” I think we all claim some guilt when our body language speaks louder than our words in a very accusing manner. Carefully heeding the Scripture, take the time to stop and engage face to face by choosing our words with a positive tone rather than full of critical negative comments, and your choice to slow things down and enjoy those quaint moments as steeping stones of developing a close bond with your child.
Give without sparing: Proverbs 21:25 “Some people are always greedy for more, but the Godly love to give!” I think most parents here can acclaim doing their best to giving their children most of their wants for Christmas. My thought was this; are we teaching our children how to give? Give not as an obligation, but as a privilege … to be a blessing to others.
Pray without ceasing: Colossians 1:9 “So we have not stopped praying for you … We ask God to give you complete knowledge of His will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding.” The greatest act of love we can give our children is to pray for them: to pray about their calling in life, to bring to light and allow them to strengthen those gifting for the Glory of God, to pray for those that will influence their lives.
Answer without arguing: Proverbs 17:1 “Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting and conflict.” I do a lot of counseling and the one thing that amazes me is the lack of willingness or not knowing how to say “I am sorry!” I finally get that person to say, “I am sorry (half way meaningfully)!” Then the other partner won’t receive the apology! Parents as you are correcting your kids focus on discussing what they did wrong, why an apology is necessary, and how to apologize.
Enjoy without complaining: Philippians 2:14 – 15 “Do everything without complaining so that no one can criticize you, like clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright light in a world full of crooked and perverse people.” This aspect of looking at the glass half empty versus it being half full has really been magnified in my thought process even more since we have been doing our Book Study on “Battle Plan of Prayer,” the attitude of gratitude to God, to our family, and to other people. Not many people want to embrace porcupine people!
Forgive without punishing: Colossians 3:13 “Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” I can stop there because that just preached in and of itself. We MUST forgive! But, I would like to take it a step farther. If your way is the only way to get things done … I guarantee you, you will get offended and will constantly be offended … that unhappiness will lead you to a bitter life of unforgiveness.
Promise without forgetting: Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” This is a piecrust promise … easily made and easily broken. Something about the young and the old, they take what you say at face value and believe.
Love without reservation: Matthew 22:39 “… Love your neighbor as yourself.” I love the idea of love! But realistically, there are healthy boundaries. I use the method of “The Emotional Resource Bank.” How much can you put into your neighbor’s bank?
