Fatherhood is a dying part of our present day American culture. Go into most classrooms in our public schools and ask how many students have their fathers living in the home with them! You will probably not be surprised to see that only a few would raise their hands. Each child has a “sperm donor”, but few have a father there to provide leadership for them.
Moms are doing an incredible job! Many of them are single and must be both Father and Mother to their children. I sincerely applaud those who have done a great job helping their children be graduated from Calhoun and Hope High Schools. Their job is never done as long as they are alive, for children will always need their mothers.
There is a beautiful and appropriate simplicity in the counsel addressed to children in Ephesians 6: 1-2 “Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother…” The children’s duties are founded in nature. They derive their being from their parents; they are fed by them; and they are trained by them for the duties of life.
I see four important elements that are summarized by this Scripture admonition – Love, Honor, Gratitude, and Subjection.
Love: It is instinctual for a child to love their father! It does not take long for the child to recognize both and mother and father and to love each of them. I remember taking “night duty” when our oldest son was first brought home from the hospital. I would get up and take him to my recliner where we would spend the rest of the night – very fond memories!
When the father showers his child with love then it makes obedience easy. We have seen a parents and children fighting, but when there is a healthy love, strife will cease and harmony will prevail. When we love our children enough to “love them in the Lord”, to love them as we love the Lord, children will reciprocate and love us back!
Honor: According to the dictionary, honor means to have moral integrity, to esteem accorded to virtue or talent, and to have conventional respect for a person of high rank or public distinction or for a worthy symbol. It means more than simply to obey them, but to care for them as long as they need us and to seek to bring honor to them by the way we live our lives.
Recently, our older son was to have ankle surgery and would need time to recuperate. Pastor Joane and I were honored to invite him to our home for however long it would take him to get back on his feet. In honoring him, honor was given back to us! See, Dad, we must be people of honor to gain the proper respect back from those around us. Honor and respect is never a one-way street! God is not calling our kids to honor us without calling us to honor them!
Gratitude: It is our duty to provide for our parents. We ought to remember their love, their care, and their concern for us. Joseph provided for his father Jacob in old age, and the woman said to Naomi of Boaz, “He shall be to you a restorer of your life, and a nourisher of your old age.”
Probably for the last twenty years of my parents’ lives, Pastor Joane and I paid their telephone bills. Dad hated utility bills of every kind – “It’s just throwing your money away!” Mom loved to talk with us and do so often. As soon as we learned that there was a program where we could pay a flat rate for unlimited long distance calls, we signed my parents up and the bill stopped going to their house. Why? Because we could do something small to try to help repay the many thousands of things they did for us. (Now that we are getting old, it is time for our kids to follow our example, but we will not count on it!}
Subjection: Children are called upon by God to obey their parents in all things that fall within the sphere of a parent’s authority. If a parent were to encourage their children to steal or lie, or commit idolatry, they are not to be obeyed. I picked up kids on a bus route I had many years ago that did not know it was wrong to steal because their parents had taught them that stealing without getting caught was a way to make a living! I am glad to report that after the kids accepted Christ, they knew instinctively that stealing was wrong, and I never had to talk with them about it.
There are several reasons that make obedience natural. 1. Fathers know much more than their children; therefore, a wise child will take advantage of his wisdom. The child must take much of his knowledge for granted on the mere authority of his father. 2. The habit of obedience is a good discipline. One who learns obedience to parents has a much easier time in the military service and on their jobs. The lessons of obedience will help to break ill tempers and give one a better outlook on life – they will not feel like everyone is picking on them! 3. Children and their peers make poor choices for themselves. How many children are led astray by a friend? A good father will provide great guidance for his children. And 4. Society and civilization benefit by the due subordination learned in a family life setting. Every classroom teacher would be greatly benefitted if all their students has learned the natural order of nature as it relates to obedience.
As a dad, I am not trying to live my life through my children, but I know that my many years of experience will help guide my children to a better life than I had. So kids, reach out to your father and honor him on this special day!
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!
