Anyone who has had marriage counseling in my office for at least the past 40 years has heard that every marriage must have three (3) things in order to be successful: Gifts, Goals, and God. I may at another time emphasize Gifts and God, but I want to look at Marriage Goals in this article. I have seven (7) goals that I want to mention.
   First – For a marriage to be successful, the couple must have a Common Life Goal. That will require each couple to answer two very important questions: 1. Why were we married? and 2. Whom do we serve?
Many people get married because of lust – not love! “I want someone to meet my needs,” is the greatest indication that a union is built on sand and not a solid rock! Some marry for money or things – but isn’t that called “prostitution”? Some to have kids, but there are adoptions available. Some marry so they will have someone to care for them and some have a “nurse’s syndrome” and look for someone to fix!
The only reason to get married is so that the two will be a greater force for God than they could possibly be by themselves. Never chase money, but always chase after God and His plan for your life!
    Second – Marriage should be fun! Both husband and wife should seek to make every day a “fun day”, even if both must work. And, be adventurous by seeking new ways to enjoy time with each other.
    Third – Promote romance! Romance is just as important to the crusty fisherman, although he may not realize it as quickly as to the refined lady. Romance does not just happen – most of the time it is better as a planned event.
   Fourth – Cherish your mate means to hold them in high regard. Never complain about your mate to anyone, especially to members of your family. When you degrade your mate, you are actually degrading yourself, because “the two of you have become one”!
   Fifth – Remember these three (3) important “C’s”:
 Commitment – Not “I will love you as long as you do not gain weight or snore!” Not “I will love you as long as I feel loved!” But, “Till death do us part!”
 Communication – Learn to listen! It is truly a hard lesson to learn, because we have not practiced mush of it all our lives. One thing that will assist us in learning to listen is to repeat what we have heard. Often, it will not be exactly what was said or what was meant to be said, so it will clear up many problems immediately. And to communicate, we must be willing to give our opinions, even if we know they are wrong!
 Christ – Scripture is plain and it is always right. – Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord and Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and died for it! Neither of these are easy, but both are right.
    Sixth – sustain your work together. Everyone has important work to accomplish. Help your mate with their tasks because what we do brings us a sense of accomplishment. Be an encourager. Plan new things you can do together that will make someone’s life easier – do not just focus on yourselves! Helping others brings a great sense of worth! I heard about a seven year old boy who was selling lemonade in front of his Missouri home. He did not have a price on his product – “just anything you want to give”. He was going to give all his earnings to the local Police Department, because “they stop what they are doing to help people all the time!” He was hoping to raise $12.00. Maybe he did not understand as well, but what an example!
Lastly, Seventh – Keep the Big Picture of your relationship in focus and ignore the “little foxes”! Some are so focused on a leaky faucet that they never notice the flooded basement! Truly seek to attend to each other’s needs and our own will be met.
Many people do not realize that most women’s number one need is Security. Most men are looking for Respect. When we work on these seven simple goals for marriage, we will find a greater anticipation of each anniversary!