I try to keep a presence of mind somewhere between logical thought and imagination, which is hard to balance at times, but I feel it necessary not to ‘lose’ anything that may lead me to see something from a different perspective.
During the month of August that just passed, my father had to go into the hospital, more specifically into the psych ward only to avoid going into a long term care facility and come home with tons of pills and tons of daily issues. Because the hospital had him on twenty-four hour watch seven days a week, his discharge plan included him having the same kind of round-the-clock care.
That meant me giving up my day job, not being able to really leave the house for any longer than a few minutes (especially as I have no family members to help me watch him) at a time, and all kinds of other situations that bring stress, anxiety, and sometimes depression to my doorstep.
Prior to the hospital visit, while I was away at work, my father, during a hallucinogenic episode where he opened the front door numerous times, lost the cat he had gotten to replace the cat he had previously had for over thirteen years, That cat was never found, but after he had come home I and the one other connection he has, thought that another cat may be helpful in keeping him company besides my presence as well as possibly be of therapeutic value as well.
That is where we get to me trying to keep an open mind when ‘odd’ things occur.
When the family friend brought a cat over, it was as if I knew the cat before. It looked like a darker striped version of a cat named Lucy I had for years that was very close to me, but the person I was in a long term relationship with at the time had a kid who was allergic to cats among other things and we were in a middle of a custody case where having the cat at our residence would have possibly looked neglectful.
I had to give the cat up to someone and it was one of the most heartbreaking losses I have had in my experience with pets and animals in general.
But here this cat was, the same smaller size as Lucy, as if both might have been the runts of the litter, same gender, same attitude…I could not help but immediately make the comparison.
As the days went by, although the cat would indeed ‘hang out’ with my father and keep him company, the cat also seemed to have an almost instant bond with me. So much in fact then when the woman that gave her to us came by, she walked out, said ‘hello,’ and then came straight back to me.
So I asked myself, was this my old cat, coming back when she was needed the most?
The last month and a half have been rough, I have been here before, my mom had MS and I used to care and watch over her often at a very early age. But watching someone who is not in his right head space is different than someone who just has physical ills.
It almost like Lucy came home to help me get through these difficult times, and I am glad she is here, even if in the spirit of a totally different animal.
