Maybe because it is the Valentine season, our hearts turn to red hearts, candy, and flowers for the one of greatest affection. Often what follows is something that can truly be an expression of unselfishness, but too often our total effort at loving is getting what we want — I call that lust, not love! As a pastor, I will hear stories of “him doing all the right things, but leaves me feeling empty!” I will hear about “she was super sweet, but paper thin!”
There is much that all of us can learn about love – and I am still learning! Jesus said that there were two great commandments and both of them had to do with love – love God and love each other. Allow me to briefly approach both.
“Love the Lord your God with all you heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Notice the number of times “your” and “all” are used? Love is always a very personal thing. It has to become our mission.
The word “all” is far more difficult. Can one love with some of our heart, or most of our heart? Are not our heart, soul, mind, and strength often divided and spent on man things? He knows that when we love Him completely with our affections, our intellect, and inmost being, and with our efforts we find true fulfillment! When we give Him anything less, we are probably only trying to see how much we can get from God, which is lust, and not how much we can give Him!
Once we see how dearly God loves us, then we respond to God’s love – not because He has ordered it, but because His love for us has been demonstrated and thereby evokes from us the strongest passions. Then we will begin to move toward fulfilling what He asks – to truly love Him with our “all”!
“The second commandment is that: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” In effect, Jesus gives us a picture of the cross. The vertical relationship is to love God; the horizontal crossbeam in life is to love others. When we see Jesus’ outstretched arms on the cross, we understand how much He loves us personally.
This second greatest commandment assumes we love ourselves – we can not love another better than we love ourselves. For years I have said to the youth of this community, “He/She who beds you before he’she weds you abuses you!” So many people are proving how little they think of themselves by how loosely they act sexually! Jesus plainly tells us that we will never love others better than we love ourselves, that if we have poor self-love, then that poverty of spirit will impact how we relate to others. This does not mean we have permission to become narcissists or ego-centered, but will possess a healthy self-image!
Most people I see fail to love themselves. Self-love becomes the minimal and threshold standard for loving others as compared to the higher standard of loving others as Christ has loved us.
Look at how Jesus loved. Look at how Jesus talked kindly, lovingly, and encouragingly to people. The only ones He had harsh words for were the religious hypocrites. The words Jesus speaks to us are spirit and life. That is also how we must love others. I trust we are examining our words to insure they are words that bring others encouragement, hope, and good cheer.
Jesus loves us with actions, always acting to help others. In His own words, Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Do we help to heal the wounds in others? Do we serve the needy? Do others say of us, “You have a helping hand”?
But, Jesus goes far beyond loving with words and actions. He actually lays down His life for us. For whom are we actually dying for? It must not be a physical death, it could involve subordinating or relinquishing our own desires to serve another,
Loving God begins with truly loving ourselves enough to relinquish our goals for His, which we know are far better! Loving others must always begin with loving ourselves enough to retain control to keep the predators away, long enough tor us to find those who have our best interests in their hearts.
Love God and love others and everyday can be a Valentine’s Day!
