I think I have finally smoked my last cigarette and it is funny it was not half as hard as it seemed when I wrote this four years ago for this column, on one of my previous attempts to quit: “…The idea [of quitting smoking] fills me with apprehension and fear, even though from the past experience I have in the matter I know exactly what I’m up against.

Three days till the nicotine is out of my system, probably quite a few weeks on the patch, and tons of battling the psychological components of smoking that are most likely the hardest element of quitting to experience. There will be those strange dreams where I’ll sneak a cigarette in some surreal scenario, then wake up with that phantom feeling of guilt that will come with it.

I’ll have to arm myself like I’m preparing for a war, which I will be. Cinnamon gum and coffee stirrers to keep my mouth feeling busy, holding pens and pencils in my hands so they do not feel left out and of course answering the constant question of: “What do I do now?”

Because cigarette smoking kind of cements itself in our lives.

Stressful day? Cigarette.

Bad news? Cigarette.

Bored? Lots of cigarettes
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Thing is, despite the actual physical addiction lasting just three days time, it is the habit itself that makes it so hard to quit. The cigarette when you wake up, the one after you have eaten, the one before you go to bed and the ones when you can fit them in while working. They all give our brains a dose of ‘rewarding’ chemicals that makes it feel relaxing, peaceful and desirable.

For the most part it is an illusion, whether you believe it to be an illusion of an addict’s mind or one that is ingrained into a person by repetition, which is usually the cause and solution to most of the things we wish we could change about ourselves or the world around us.

So the battle becomes much less with tobacco and nicotine than it does with those inner voices and thoughts that allow us to continue our bad habits, even if we know those actions are taking a toll on our bodies or our mental health.”

For some reason, almost a sort of miracle for me in the midst of such loss and chaos for me in the last year or so, I was able to drop the actual smoking and then only have the patch on for a few days because as of this writing I am more than one month into not smoking cigarettes and two weeks or more without nicotine, although I am not as sure about the latter but it has been a while none the less.

I felt this was important to touch on because this year and for some this entire life has been rough on us, and I feel it is our duty to point out the victories no matter how small that keep us going or the gains no matter how small especially when times are tough.