It seems there are sayings for everything at this point in human history, a metaphor for virtually any situation you might find yourself in, and although I’m not sure if this one exists, I’d like to put my own spin on it regardless:

“Just because something is small does not mean it can’t be a giant pain in the ass.”

Maybe not the most elegant or well written saying ever coined, and as said, there might already be a better one, but it fits my subject matter: Ants.

The very name of this insect became associated with smaller size, a word that came to represent anything that was miniaturized, puny, or miniscule.

However none of those words are what I’d choose to describe my hatred of the small little buggers as they’ve invaded the trailer I’m living in this Summer.

I got here in Spring and there was not a pest to be found here, not a fly, spider, or indeed an ant to be seen.
Then…they attacked.

By this I mean they found my garbage can and all of a sudden I had the ants from the old Tom and Jerry cartoons marching off with crumbs to whatever place they resided, a ready made feast for them and a headache for me.

The first shot of this war was easy…I did a raid. Rather that is I bought some Raid brand ant traps, which seemed to be about as effective as building them condos and a hot tub.

Then I had to get to reading and decided that to beat the ant I had to get to know the ant, so besides some reading (did you know there are over twelve thousand kinds of ant in the world and more than seven hundred types in the United States) I asked the guy who came to fix the trailer’s AC and he gave me the most sage advice: “Good luck.”

So it seems the strategy would have to be good and for that I’d need to do some recon.

I followed the ants down their own trail where they went into a small crevice behind the counter next to the stove.

So I took aim with my fully armed (caulk) gun and collapsed the entrance, cleansing the area with a volley of water mixed with white vinegar to eliminate their supply lines and cut off any stragglers who were not in the cave at the time of the collapse.

This, along with a better ant bait, seemed to be winning the war…umm, begin to abate the pest threat in the trailer.

Next morning a perimeter was set up around the entire structure with a mixture that not only promised to secure me against ants but against many other bug threats outside my borders.
I waited.
The air was thick with anticipation, I was hoping to live in a world without seeing a ant cross my counter while doing dishes, a world where every crumb could feel safe from ant abduction.

So far they have mostly given up their occupation, but I still see them here and there, a reminder of the ‘Spring of the Ant,’ and the battles fought within.