In life we all must make choices that we don’t really want to make.

A lover we don’t want to break up with, a job we really want to quit but can’t, a test we really don’t want to take, or in this case a pet you really don’t want to give up, but you may not have a choice.

Now, I’ll be the first to state that a pet is not something you should take on responsibility for unless you are very sure you will be able to care for it until it expires or you do.

The real world however can easily provide scenarios where the above statement gets hard to achieve via circumstance, the circumstances in this case being me telling my dad not to get another cat after the one we had ran away because in his confusion caused by his mental illness he kept opening the front door and let the cat out on two separate occasions.

The second time ‘Rizzo’ was never seen again.

I knew that another kind of hard choice might be right around the corner, such as my father no longer getting the proper care at home and that it might be time for him to go to a facility better suited to help him.

Thus when he said the little gray and black cat sitting on the back of the couch was now ours, I felt it might not be the wisest idea.

She was here though and despite myself I became close with the little cat despite the reality of the situation.
Today she’s been with me for over four years and unfortunately life is suggesting that I may have to give her up to move on.

This thought fills me with sadness and a huge sense of guilt as well, because she’s been my constant friend for nearly half a decade.

My dad called her ‘Rizzo 2’ when we got her but I started calling her ‘Baby’ as a term of endearment and it stuck and she started to answer to that name.

She’s loving and smart, she’s not a perfect cat but one that is very loyal and true to herself.
I cannot even put into words how it feels to know she may be gone and that she might think her friend abandoned her…it’s literally too much to bear.

Sadly it was not the first time I’ve had to do this.

Between my father being the kind of man to go and dump the family dog in the streets when he thought it was time for the dog to leave birds in care of an ex in Port Lavaca, I’ve felt this feeling before.

The thing is, life is relentless and I wish this month’s column had a happier ending, but even if the best case scenario is me finding a home for her where my Baby will be well loved and cared for, there will still be two hearts, one large and one small, who will have holes in them.

I’m sorry Baby if you miss me soon, know I’ll always be missing you too.