My neighbors Parker and Patty are always telling me how proud they are to be a part of Port’OConnor, Texas. They say it is a great community and so friendly.
The kids were here recently and the whole family went down to the Rod and Gun Shop to renew their hunting and fishing licenses. They love to hunt almost as much as they love to fish, and the season opens real soon. Patty’s dad taught all of his grandchildren, both boys and girls, to hunt at the family farm when they were young. The kids got to talking about hunting with Grandee, their granddad. He was a good teacher, but Patty’s son had a funny story about his first hunt with Grandee.
One morning, they got up early and drove to the deer blind hoping to get a young deer for the freezer. Grandee began telling Perry, his grandson to ‘watch yonder, keep an eye out yonder, aim yonder, deer bed down yonder…” Perry really tried hard to focus, and watch and be ready. Once or twice, Perry tried to ask Grandee a question but was quickly silenced and told to ‘keep tabs on yonder’ for the big deer they wanted. They sat silent and excited, but at only 9 years old, it was a long morning for Perry. Eventually, Perry shot his first deer that morning, and Grandee was so happy and proud, but it took a long time and they were tired and hungry when they got home. Patty met them at the door to hear about the hunt. Perry looked down, looked away, sheepishly looked around and finally said, ‘Mom, it was really hard. It took me most of the morning just to figure out where yonder was. I didn’t know where Grandee’s ‘yonder’ was located. I never heard of ‘yonder.’ Grandee and Patty both laughed and reassured young Perry that he did fine and yonder was wherever Grandee said.
As they recounted the story, the other kids all chimed in quickly. They all had to learn about what they lovingly called ‘grandeeisms.’ His words for things were not always familiar. Yonder was just one of them. He had lots! He used to tell them they could get glad in the same britches they got mad. He said things like ‘good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise; straighten up and fly right; fish or cut bait; jerk a knot it your tail; mess up a one car parade; go round and round and you, and you buttoned up the wrong pile’ when correcting his grands.
He described things with sayings that they did not know when offering advice. Sayings like ‘not hit with an ugly stick but struck with the whole tree; busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest or one armed paper hanger; do one legged ducks swim in circles; whose herding this mule; that dog won’t hunt; stink a dog off of a gut wagon; clear as mud and nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers’ were just some of the mysteries of Grandee’s wisdom and wit. A few were clearer, and no one questioned him. He’d say ‘poor folks got poor ways, and wonder what poor folks are doing tonight,’ but was not referring to money usually. He would tell them the dinner was larrupin’ when it was great, and tell them something whispered was ‘just between you, me and the fencepost or the good Lord’ depending on the content. The grands all agreed they were grown and on their own before they quit believing him when he would say ‘be quiet kids, you’ll scare away every fish in the water’. They were not sure where he learned his many sayings, but several of his 8 brothers and sisters also had more sayings than you could shake a stick at. It must have run in the family. They sheepishly admit it still does. Some are still in use when they all get together. They just laughed, and then cried a little remembering their granddad and all he had taught them. They all agreed it sure would be good to see him again…‘over yonder.’