A young wife asked her husband if he would watch their three kids while she did some errands. He promptly volunteered to “baby-sit the kids” while she was out. He got an A+ for his quick willingness, but soon realized his failing grade for the choice of words by the awkward silence. Every husband has had at least one of those moments when we realize we said something wrong, but are just not quite sure what it was! Rather than her expected expression of thanks, she said, with an understanding smile and stunning wisdom, “When you watch others’ kids, it is called baby-sitting; when you watch your own, it is called parenting!” I would bet that husband has never used the “B” word since then! Parenting is a full time job – far more than we imagine and for longer than we anticipate!
The time and effort that it takes to take a child from adolescence to adulthood is so significantly important. Its duties are all encompassing and its results are eternal. There are so many practical elements to parenting – multi-faceted responsibilities but lots of unexpected joys and satisfaction – involving shelter, safety, food, health, education, training, exercise, skill development, growth, morals and values, social interactions (Now you realize why every parent is tired!) – but there is one job that supersedes all others in importance. The singular objective for every good parent is voiced by Joshua to Israel, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!” (Joshua 24:15)
Every parent knows the importance and necessity of providing shelter, and most want to provide the very best that we can afford. However, it is important that we not teach our children such a high standard that they will be unhappy with anything but the best for the rest of their lives. Joane had never lived in the conditions that she moved to in Port O’Connor, but, because she loved God and me, she was willing to live in much less than she was used to. Our kids adapted to much less as well.
Safety, proper diet, along with a lot of “wade fishing” are important considerations for parents. I remember the pain in my heart the day I realized I could not protect my children they way I wanted, because they no longer would allow it! It is always a task to get kids to eat broccoli and carrots! Now, with all the emphasis on “video games”, it is now a constant task to get the kids out of the house to do any kind of exercise. But, we cannot just give in and allow a child to make decisions that will affect them the rest of their lives! We must enforce what we wish to see accomplished.
Very few kids would go to school every day if we did not make education a priority. Without a proper education, proper training, and skill development, kids would grow up without proper social interaction. School has always sought to teach more than just the “3 Rs”! There will come a time when our influence as parents will take second place to the influence of friends – and we all hope that will happen after college. When that happens, all we can do is trust and pray that we have taught them well enough that they will make wise choices for themselves.
To successfully teach morals and values, every parent needs the Lord’s help. The Bible states that we are to, “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”. (Ephesians 6:4) Everything the Lord commands and expects us to do, He teaches us how and equips us to accomplish well. When Jesus was asked what the first and most important of God’s commands was, Jesus quoted Deuteronomy 6 – love God with all your heart! Successful parents begins where Jesus began. First, love God and secondly, train our family to follow our example.
Love is the key to everything. Keeping the commands of God is only possible through the power of an overwhelming love for God. Religion is never strong enough and our own personal determination will fail. A truly loving heart is the key to a satisfying marriage, effecting parenting, our children’s future, and our spiritual lives and growth as a family.
Love is a practical and priority response. Love is learned by seeing it and feeling it, not just hearing about it. Love must be modeled consistently in our homes – love for God, love for our spouse, love for our family, and love for others. What we want to be true in our home must first be true in our heart. Long ago I learned that love, to be accepted as authentic, must be practical and observable.
Teach and talk of God’s Law and love all the time and everywhere. Sometimes, when necessary, use words! We will be the most powerful voice in our children’s lives when what we say matches how we live. By words and example, train when opportunities arise at home. Take every opportunity of every place to train children of God’s great love. Choose specific times of the day to train and teach. Make time for what is truly important – eternal matters! I have strongly taught for years that to leave eternal matters for children to make is equal to “child abuse”! Scale back the computer and television time and replace it with family time. Regulate schedules as they profitably impact the family rather than each individual, which will help the child understand where they fit into the family unit.
Parenting is not easy, but it is worth the investment! There will be many future nights of great rest if we will invest the time now to help our children develop into godly individuals. Parenting must be continual and consistent – it can never be a part-time job!
