In one of his essays, Sir Richard Steele (1672-1729) described a day he spent with a younger child. He said, “I found upon conversation with him, though he was a little noisy in his mirth, that the child had excellent parts, and was a great master of all learning on the other side of eight years old.”
“Learning on the other side of eight” is an interesting phrase. What Steele meant would be something like this – that his young friend was skilled in the games that occupied his restless energy, eager to lead, joyous in his play, yet solemn, too, as only a child could be “flinging himself into the business of the moment, with that superior earnestness that properly belongs to play.”
When working with the Scouts or like programs, I have learned that a “man’s work is a boy’s play.” I am reminded of what the Apostle Paul said in what we call “The Love Chapter”. “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child…” with all our attempts to learn about love, please allow an examination from a child’s point of view the best I can.
We forget much of the “learning on the other side of eight”! We knew all about it once; we understood its views and sympathized with them, but somehow there is so much that we can not recall that belonged to that enchanted period.
One of the positive things I remember about life before eight was not only the certainty of the possibility of death, but that it could come to our home. At three, I remember entering into an Intensive Care Room to see Dad, who had been seriously injured in an auto accident. A lady had run a stop sign and crashed into the truck our dad was driving. He was thrown out of the vehicle and his head landed on a concrete curb. He was not expected to survive, so we three children were allowed to see him. We did not fully understand, because Mom gave birth to our brother three days later. We were shipped off to Arkansas to live with our grandparents, but we understood that life might not be the same.
Another memory was the simple love we had. I remember the many times I could be ready to beat up a classmate, but then go seek him out at the beginning of the next recess so we could play together. I believe we as adults remember too well! Some have memories that are even better than the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s. If we would love simply, we would forget most of the offenses that we have a tendency to harbor. Boyfriends’ and girlfriends’ matters were much simpler as well. I never remember a time when I “hated the girls”! I would hold hands with one girl at recess and with another one at lunch and chase another in the afternoon. In the third grade, I got into big trouble for skipping school to help a girl try to get her dog back home! The greatest problem we had was that she did not know how to get home! No one tried to pair us – no one thought they had exclusive rights to another – we just “puppy- loved” the one we wanted for that moment!
Our older son, Monty, was visiting his grandmother. before the afternoon had truly begun, Monty was in serious trouble and received his much too usual spanking from “GaGa”. Moments later, he was heard going down the hall singing, “Something Good is Going to Happen to You”. Now, this side of eight, we do not even have to be threatened with a “spanking” and our tail-feathers are ruffled for weeks, if not years! Forgiveness needs to be simplified.
Maybe it is because I was raised in Oklahoma, but don’t all of us remember becoming “blood brothers”? The ceremony was simple. We would each cut our finger and press our fingers together until the blood stopped flowing. As a result of that pact, we would be “brothers forever”! We would even allow our “brother” to pick a fight that we would gladly get involved in! We understood, as best we could, what true friendship meant, and we attempted to be “true blue”!
We learned what true sharing was all about. This was one area I failed because of a weak stomach. I remember our girls, Crystal and Vicky, sharing gum with each other or with one of their friends! I am sure I would not welcome Joane’s gum, although we have celebrated many anniversaries! “This side of eight,” most of us are pack rats. We would be greatly blessed if we were to give away half of our stuff, if we would share it with others, but instead, we stack it away in our garages and allow the car to sit out in the elements! We keep it until, in this humidity, it is totally useless. We would do well to relearn the joy of sharing!
We can hardly expect to be treated as Mozart was treated by his father, who arranged that the child should be awakened each morning by a soft strain of music. Some of us have had, and needed, a rather rough awakening in our time before we got out of the grip of the night’s sleep. But, on the whole, gentle ways of dealing with children have an effect for good that will remain through all the rest of their lives. But, “slap a kid around”, and we will find a tendency for that grown up child to continue with angry days!
Can we remember the way we were so trusting? Can we remember the defensive stance we took when our parents, family members, or friends were taunted? There are a lot of good and Godly ways that we can communicate, relate and think like children so our love will begin growing again like it did all those many years ago!
