One of the keys to growth and positive living is to establish accountability. The dictionary definition of accountability is “subject to the obligation to report, responsible, answerable” – to answer for and give reports of our actions, words, attitudes, or behavior, owning our decisions and actions.
Allow me to give an example. If one is trying to lose weight, we look for an accountability partner to help. Every week, that partner is told how much weight has been added or lost. Victories and defeats are shared. One might consider sharing a workout session with them or a food journal. On days when that Blue Bell arrives, the thought that the accountability partner will have to be told will help us say, “No Ice Cream!” Accountability will help us stick to our plan to achieve our goal.
The person who avoids accountability will not allow anyone to challenge their decisions or actions – they are “too mature”! They will never allow anyone to ask them tough questions, because they do not believe anyone should help them make decisions! They take complete, solo command of their personal growth, because it is “my life”! They hide weaknesses, failures, and mistakes. They lie about their struggles. They refuse to answer questions, share details, or answer in any way for their actions, attitudes, or words. When they are caught doing wrong, they blame someone, anyone else. They never take personal responsibility. If someone tries to make them take responsibility, they brand that person an enemy!
Accountability is giving someone in our life permission to blow the whistle, sound a warning when we are headed into a danger zone. It is asking someone to watch out for us, to help us stay safe and avoid devastating consequences. To be accountable is to have people in our life who have the right to demand truthful answers.
Choosing to become accountable is never easy. That is why so many people avoid it. In the short run, it is easier to hide our flaws, stay away from people who challenge us, and avoid accountability. But in the long run, it is a mistake that can ruin our lives.
Failures happen in isolation. Failure happens when we stop fearing getting caught. Failure happens when we answer only to ourselves. On the other hand, growth happens in community. We are safer, better, and stronger when we are together.
Most people avoid accountability because they think it is like control. They think others are “trying to run their lives.” When one struggles to submit to accountability, they should see it as a signal of a great need for it. If being accountable seems like a heavy yoke, there is a good chance we are too wrapped up in our circumstances to make decisions for our own good.
Others avoid accountability because it requires vulnerability. Allowing someone to get close to us can be very scary. Perhaps we have learned to avoid getting close because we have been hurt – which is very true – people will hurt us! But people can also help us greatly. Being hurt should never have happened, but do not allow hurtful people from the past rob us of the joy of living in community now. We must allow others to help us carry our burdens. Our comfort zone will always be the enemy of true growth!
Accountability makes it difficult to continue in questionable behavior. Most of the time, we know when we are headed down the wrong pathway. Any addict, or former addict, can tell us that when we keep our options open, we always fail.
Those who avoid accountability want to continue the wrong in which they are participating. Who wants the foul whistle blown at them in any game of life? None of us, until we understand the benefits of playing the game right! Becoming transparent about our faults is the first step toward healing. It is as we admit our weaknesses that we grown stronger. It is in realizing our failures that we grow smarter. It is in allowing ourselves to be challenged that we learn new strategies for success.
God has planned for us to be accountable in all our actions. Those who want to beat the system simply refuse to attach themselves to any church or any one who can ask the tough questions of life. The Bible provides the answer: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
By finding an accountability partner, we will realize the growth that is possible in our life!
