Kenneth Elliott Clark
I have thought about this day a lot in the past few years. wondering what I would want to say about my dad. How do you summarize who he was? I still don’t know the answer but I’ll tell you Who He was to Me.
He was a man of commitment to what he believed. He wasn’t a person who went around saying what he believed, but what he believed in was very clear. He was committed to his spiritual beliefs, his family and the community of people who surrounded him.
I remember growing up trying to understand why Dad did the things he did. I explained it to myself as simply his spiritual beliefs.
He gave to people when it made no sense that he gave. He didn’t worry about tomorrow. He felt certain tomorrow would take care of itself. He believed that God would take care of all his needs. This drove mom and me crazy at times but his faith never wavered. And you know, things always did work out.
He easily forgave what would have been near unforgivable for me. I asked him many times, “How can you let people treat you that way?” He replied, “If they are willing to act that way, it is about their character not mine.” Confronting them will not teach them character.
Dad tried his best to be a good man; a loving, kind, generous, forgiving, fair man. No one is perfect but he gave it his all. I honestly don’t think it was hard for him. It was just rooted in the depths of his soul.
I am very proud of my dad’s commitment to his beliefs. He blessed us with an example of kindness, generosity, spirituality; something I can only hope to achieve.
He ascribed to the Christian belief that we are all God’s children and no man is better than another.
He was a very proud man, never wanting a hair out of place, but he was also a humble man. He measured a person by their character. He could be found having dinner with millionaires one night and riding on a trash truck the next day trying to help a friend who had a worker not show up. Or suit and tie, covered in mud, cleaning out a septic tank. It didn’t matter. He saw nothing as being above him nor nothing being beneath him.
Dad should have been a contractor, a ship builder or an architect. Nothing stirred his creative energy more than building something. It didn’t matter if he was building a fort made of dead branches with his grandson Tyler, a 30-foot shrimp boat, a 70-foot gulf boat, or a house. If he got an idea in his head (or mother put an idea in his head) of something to build, you might as well sit back and enjoy the ride because it was going to be built – against some of our wishes! That’s how we ended up with a restaurant, hotel and a beautiful house. And, yes, he sometimes got carried away with the size of things. But there was no stopping him.
It is in the Elliott gene pool to be stubborn as a stump. And God knows he was an Elliott through and through.
Dad was lucky to have achieved a great deal in his life. It afforded the expression of another of his beloved characteristics…a deep belief in giving to others. The act of giving, being charitable, was in his mind a responsibility and a blessing both to the giver and the receiver. He gave, not just monetarily, but he gave in personal effort. Another way he loved to give was by giving a person the opportunity to experience something they otherwise would not have the opportunity to experience. It could be anything… a pool party, the opportunity to see the mountains, drive a car, go floundering, eat a special meal, you name it. He loved to share experiences with people. I could tell story after story of dad’s willingness to give to others. But we would be here all day.
He enjoyed traveling, seeing this beautiful country. Nothing spoke to him more than the mountains. He and Mom were lucky to get to spend 10 years in Colorado. There again he had to build something, so, up came a mountain retreat surrounded by aspen trees. In those 10 years, he made up for the many years of hard work and no time off. His hard work ethic turned into playing hard, and having fun. Mom and Dad always say it was the best years of their lives.
Kenneth hunting in Colorado
Later in life, Dad became a teller of stories and someone who never met a stranger. Owning a restaurant was his social hour. I don’t think the restaurant ever made a penny but he sure did have fun talking to all the patrons who came to have lunch “at his house.” And that’s how he looked at it… he was having friends over for lunch or dinner. If he could have afforded it, he would have let everyone eat for free just to have them enjoy his house and mother’s recipes.
People think it was my mom who loved to entertain, cook for others, have parties for every occasion and any reason, and she did like doing this, but dad was right behind her wanting to entertain. He got to do the entertaining, Mom did the cooking. It made for some great parties and fantastic food.
One thing I am sure of about, him is his absolute, unconditional, lasting love for my mom. I was blessed to be a child of parents who absolutely adored, loved, supported, and honored each other for 67 years!!! How they did it? Well, I have a story that also explained that to me.
Kenneth and Grady Jean Clark
One day mom was having a meltdown about nothing and I turned to Dad and said, “You spoiled her!” He turned to me with a grin and said, “ROTTEN!” His reason,” I never wanted to upset her.” Now, that’s a man many women wish they had!!
He never wanted upheaval. He had the patience of Job, the ability to not react to the drama in life, a great understanding of my mom’s needs, he loved her like no other. She was truly his only need on this earth. And he was everything to her. When it came to who they loved you might as well get used to being in second place because no one was more important. Total commitment, unwavering love, acceptance, respect and a lot of patience, I think that’s how they did it.
He was fortunate to have 93 years on this earth. And as his time to go came near he was ready, almost anxious to go! Weeks before he died, he told me over and over “Call the undertaker”. After hearing this for the 40th time I asked him, “Why are you in such a hurry”. He replied, “I’m ready to get on with it.” No fear, no unfinished business, just peace and a deep belief that he was finished here and ready to be in heaven.
I think if Dad was here and wanted to leave parting words it would go something like this: “Commit wholeheartedly to what you believe in, love deeply, give of yourself, take time to have fun, and eat lots of shrimp.”
So, who was my father to me?
Simply put, all he had hoped to be…A Good Man
